This is an image of my friend in a casino that I took.
We drove hours through the desert to get there.
He lost all the cash he brought.
So did I.
Is my stomach still upset from the spicy chicken sandwich?
I wish the answer was "no".
Did I need some escapism yesterday?
Hell yes.
I've been thinking about the idea of leaving a legacy.
Some of my friends are talking about having kids.
I don't want kids.
And even if I did, I can't afford it.
I'll be 33 tomorrow.
63 years younger than my Grandfather if he makes it through today.
I know one couple my age with a child.
They are brilliant, kind, empathetic, caring people who love their daughter.
They both can drink me under the table.
I wish I saw them more, but kids, ya know?.
I hope I'm remembered as helpful.
At least for a little while.
Because in one hundred years no one will remember you or me.
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A couple years ago my friends and I tried to open a bar.
We drafted a business plan.
Rounded up funding.
Toured spaces.
Negotiated with landlords.
But we failed.
I don't know if it was self sabotage or the untenable idea of paying $5,000 a month for 1,000 square feet.
Everything has been purchased.
Life is unaffordable.
The world is boiling.
On the brightside, I think I'll get an iced coffee and an avocado toast today.
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Geography and religion are weird.
Where you are born and raised impact faith more than anything else.
Alabama === Protestant
Utah === Mormon
Republic of Maldives === Muslim
Czech Republic === Atheist
And lucky you.
You just happened to be born where the one true religion is practiced.
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The above is "Evil" by Interpol.
It's an indie rock song from their album, "Antics", released on September 27, 2004, by Matador Records.
I hated Interpol 20 years ago.
I read about them in Spin Magazine.
I think I was a little too proto for their punk.
Since then, I've come to obsess over their strange lyrics and off kilter melodic lines.
They are a crummy live band.
Paul Banks isn't a great singer.
Carlos D. just up and left.
But "Evil" is a great song.
As with "Lo Tom" I didn't really get into "Antics".
But this song is angsty, shithead, depressed, and worried late teens / early twenties for me.
I still feel worried.
And I still love this song.
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